Sweet 16 Quick Picks (March 28th)

Wisconsin vs. Davidson - Stephon Curry and Davidson's Cinderella run ends here due to Michael Flowers and Wisconsin's suffocating defense. Bo Ryan is also an excellent coach. Wisconsin wins.

Stanford vs. Texas - Stanford's twin towers of Brooks and Robin Lopez are good, but Texas' talented and young squad will be too much for the young Mexicans. Stanford needed a game-winning circus shot from one of the Mexies to beat an average Marquette team. They are not that good. Look for D.J. Augustin, and maybe A.J. Abrams, to get hot. Damion James adds an athletic post presence for the Horns. The last and best reason why Stanford will lose is because they are called the Cardinal and their mascot is a tree. How gay. 

Kansas vs. Villanova - Kansas wins because they are good and Villanova is mediocre. Kansas has been hot lately and they have been almost as impressive as UNC. Villanova got lucky by drawing a terrible 5 seed in Clemson and then a 13 seed in Siena. The luck ends tonight... like it did for former Nova star Allan Ray when he got his eye poked out:

Memphis vs. Michigan State - Memphis is very talented and athletic, but they seem to have been squeaking by teams lately. On the other hand, Michigan State has under-achieved this year as well. Memphis is straight thuggin' with their dirty ass coach John Calipari and girlfriend-beater Robert Dozier. Everyone knows that Tom Izzo is an excellent coach. If Drew Neitzel gets hot, Michigan State could win this game. It will be close. I'm going with Michigan State in the upset special!

Note the girl with the black eye and the "I date Dozier shirt". So funny, yet so true. Also, not the "We Beat Mempis Not Our Girls". It's a great sign for many reasons: 

1. The joke... it's fucking funny. 

2. The fucktard who made the sign can't even spell Memphis. How stupid can you be? Upon further research, it appears as though UAB accepts anyone who can spell their name (Only your name, not Memphis). The minimum admission requirements are a 20 on the ACT and a 950 on the SAT. Yes, yes, that is borderline retarded. That explains the sign.

3. UAB didn't beat Memphis... they lost. 

4 for 4.

I picked all four games correctly last night. The thugs in orange just couldn't pull it off. Again, I called it. Chris the Cougar choked on a fat one. 3 for 15 from the field. Great job Cougar. No surprise there. It was a great run for the prison suit boys. Off-season will be interesting in Knoxville. I put the Vegas over and under line for UT arrests at 5. 8 for the number of times Bruce Pearl touches a girl against her will. Congratulations to me. Call me Mr. March Madness.

Sweet 16 Update

So far I'm 2 for 2. Not surprising. UNC's homecourt advantage was extremely unfair yet again and they raped Wazzou. As for Xavier: did I call it or what? Joe the rat choked. All he had to do was make a free throw to practically seal the deal. 2nd in the Big East in free throws? Not so much rat. Instead of making the free throw and winning the game, West Virginia lost and Joe the rat was forced to the bench. He could be seen throughout overtime mumbling to himself like he wanted some cheddar cheese. Xavier baby. Xavier. 

Sweet 16 Quick Picks (March 27)

Tennessee vs. Louisville: David Padgett is too much for UT's lack of an inside game. Chris the Cougar Lofton is injured and chokes on a fat one. Louisville wins this one and Bruce Pearl molests a reporter after the game again (watch the video below).

Xavier vs. West Virginia: Xavier wins because of their back court play, Drew Lavender, the fact that Joe Alexander is a rat, and because I picked them to the Final Four.

North Carolina vs. Washington State: Wazzou goes down to the Tarheels in this one. UNC has been steamrolling opponents and they yet again have home court advantage. UNC looks like a legit title contender.

UCLA vs. Western Kentucky: Western Kentucky has made a great run, but it ends here. Why? They are a 12 seed and they are playing a one seed. UCLA hasn't been playing great ball, but when you can play as bad as they did against Texas A&M and still win, you're pretty damn good. Kevin Love dominates in this one and UCLA wins (it might be a close one though).