Final Ones

The Final 4 is composed of all one seeds for the first time in the history of basketball. Yay. Half of my Final 4 is gone with Xavier and Texas both taking it up the ass. My national champ, Kansas, is still in it even though they looked like complete dog shit today against Davidson. I'm predicting a Memphrica-UNC showdown for the national title. The thugs from the trash can of a city that is Memphis have looked good in their last two games. Right now I think that UNC will win it all, but I reserve the right to change that opinion after the next round of games. By the way, Charlie Weis is a fat shit.

2nd Sweet Sixteen Update

Oh how the mighty have fallen: me, Wisconsin, and Michigan State. I was .500 tonight as I picked Wisconsin and Michigan State to beat Davidson and Memphis respectively. I couldn't have been more wrong. The mix breed Stephon Curry poured in 33 points against the Badgers. This kid is legit. Granted, I didn't watch much any of the games tonight, but I know that the Badgers and the Spartans both got analized. Silly me. I should've known that those slow Big 10 teams wouldn't be able to pull it off. I did get the Kansas and Texas games right though. They too plowed through the butt-holes of Villanova and Stanford respectively. In other news, The Rapist scored 53 points, but the Lakers still lost to the Grizzlies. How fucking sad is that? The Grizzlies: quite possibly the worst team in the NBA behind the Heat. This comes just days after losing to another stacked team: The Bobcats. I hope the bandwagon Lakers fans and pro-rape advocates are happy. Your team sucks. I'm tired so I'm going to bed. 

Sweet 16 Quick Picks (March 28th)

Wisconsin vs. Davidson - Stephon Curry and Davidson's Cinderella run ends here due to Michael Flowers and Wisconsin's suffocating defense. Bo Ryan is also an excellent coach. Wisconsin wins.

Stanford vs. Texas - Stanford's twin towers of Brooks and Robin Lopez are good, but Texas' talented and young squad will be too much for the young Mexicans. Stanford needed a game-winning circus shot from one of the Mexies to beat an average Marquette team. They are not that good. Look for D.J. Augustin, and maybe A.J. Abrams, to get hot. Damion James adds an athletic post presence for the Horns. The last and best reason why Stanford will lose is because they are called the Cardinal and their mascot is a tree. How gay. 

Kansas vs. Villanova - Kansas wins because they are good and Villanova is mediocre. Kansas has been hot lately and they have been almost as impressive as UNC. Villanova got lucky by drawing a terrible 5 seed in Clemson and then a 13 seed in Siena. The luck ends tonight... like it did for former Nova star Allan Ray when he got his eye poked out:

Memphis vs. Michigan State - Memphis is very talented and athletic, but they seem to have been squeaking by teams lately. On the other hand, Michigan State has under-achieved this year as well. Memphis is straight thuggin' with their dirty ass coach John Calipari and girlfriend-beater Robert Dozier. Everyone knows that Tom Izzo is an excellent coach. If Drew Neitzel gets hot, Michigan State could win this game. It will be close. I'm going with Michigan State in the upset special!

Note the girl with the black eye and the "I date Dozier shirt". So funny, yet so true. Also, not the "We Beat Mempis Not Our Girls". It's a great sign for many reasons: 

1. The joke... it's fucking funny. 

2. The fucktard who made the sign can't even spell Memphis. How stupid can you be? Upon further research, it appears as though UAB accepts anyone who can spell their name (Only your name, not Memphis). The minimum admission requirements are a 20 on the ACT and a 950 on the SAT. Yes, yes, that is borderline retarded. That explains the sign.

3. UAB didn't beat Memphis... they lost. 

Ohio State Spring Practice Update

From nevadabuck, a respected Ohio State football insider, come two interesting tid-bits out of Columbus:

• Look for Brandon Saine to see a lot of time at the "fullback" position this year after the career-ending injury to Aram Olson. He did this some last year. He obviously won't be used as a traditional fullback. His position is being called the "pony" back.
• Ohio State is exploring the option of using the pistol formation, made popular by the Nevada Wolfpack. For those that aren't familiar, the quarterback starts off the line off scrimmage, but much closer to the center than he would in the shotgun (get it? shotgun... pistol?). The tailback lines up directly behind the quarterback instead of beside him. This provides more play-calling options and variability. It should be interesting. 

4 for 4.

I picked all four games correctly last night. The thugs in orange just couldn't pull it off. Again, I called it. Chris the Cougar choked on a fat one. 3 for 15 from the field. Great job Cougar. No surprise there. It was a great run for the prison suit boys. Off-season will be interesting in Knoxville. I put the Vegas over and under line for UT arrests at 5. 8 for the number of times Bruce Pearl touches a girl against her will. Congratulations to me. Call me Mr. March Madness.

Sweet 16 Update

So far I'm 2 for 2. Not surprising. UNC's homecourt advantage was extremely unfair yet again and they raped Wazzou. As for Xavier: did I call it or what? Joe the rat choked. All he had to do was make a free throw to practically seal the deal. 2nd in the Big East in free throws? Not so much rat. Instead of making the free throw and winning the game, West Virginia lost and Joe the rat was forced to the bench. He could be seen throughout overtime mumbling to himself like he wanted some cheddar cheese. Xavier baby. Xavier. 

Sweet 16 Quick Picks (March 27)

Tennessee vs. Louisville: David Padgett is too much for UT's lack of an inside game. Chris the Cougar Lofton is injured and chokes on a fat one. Louisville wins this one and Bruce Pearl molests a reporter after the game again (watch the video below).

Xavier vs. West Virginia: Xavier wins because of their back court play, Drew Lavender, the fact that Joe Alexander is a rat, and because I picked them to the Final Four.

North Carolina vs. Washington State: Wazzou goes down to the Tarheels in this one. UNC has been steamrolling opponents and they yet again have home court advantage. UNC looks like a legit title contender.

UCLA vs. Western Kentucky: Western Kentucky has made a great run, but it ends here. Why? They are a 12 seed and they are playing a one seed. UCLA hasn't been playing great ball, but when you can play as bad as they did against Texas A&M and still win, you're pretty damn good. Kevin Love dominates in this one and UCLA wins (it might be a close one though).

An Early Look at 2008: Handicapping the Heisman

*Note: I originally posted this on a blog run by someone else before I decided to make my own site. All content is original. 

We’ve hardly finished the dramatic (to say the least) 5 months that were the 2007 season of college football, but it’s never too early to look towards the 2008 season. I’ll breakdown the top 3 players who have the best chance to take home the coveted bronze stiff-arm man next year.

1. Tim Tebow (Jr.) – QB, Florida
At this point, Tebow has to be the odds on favorite to win the Heisman in ’08. Last season, Tebow became the first player ever to have more than 20 rushing and passing touchdowns. His reward? He also became the first sophomore to ever win the Heisman trophy. If he has the same type of season next year, look for Tebow to become only the second player in college football history to win the Heisman twice. However, it is unlikely that Tebow will pile up the stats that he did last year…Florida coach Urban Meyer has said that he will use a two quarterback system next year with rising sophomore Cameron Newton in order to help take some of the workload off Tebow’s shoulders. In addition, the Gators will finally add a talented running back in USC transfer Emanuel Moody, which should take some carries away from Tebow.

2. Pat White (Sr.) – QB, West Virginia
The electrifying dual threat will be back and better than ever in Morgantown for his senior year. With Steve Slaton bolting early for the NFL, White should see even more touches. Assuming newly promoted head coach Bill Stewart employs the same spread offense that Rich Rodriguez used, White should put up great numbers. He will have the jitterbug Noel Devine at his disposal as well as an array of skilled receivers. White put up over 3,000 total yards last year, and he led West Virginia to a blowout win over Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl despite being huge underdogs. If young Patrick can run over the poor Big East competition, he should at least be in New York in early December.

3. Chris “Beanie” Wells (Jr.) – RB, Ohio State
Beanie Wells ran for over 1,600 yards and 15 touchdowns last year, including two 200 yard games and a 140+ yard output in the national championship game against LSU on only 20 carries. Wells will enter the 2008 season as arguably the best running back in the country, and the expectations will be soaring. Ohio State will have one of the best offensive lines in the country again next year, and this can only help. Wells possesses a unique combination of power and speed. At 6’1” and 235 lbs., Wells can run you over or blow past you. He also has excellent vision and cutback ability to go with extremely nifty feet. Although he didn’t receive much hype for a good part of the season, he was at his best in the national championship game when he burnt LSU’s Craig Steltz for a 65 yard touchdown and de-cleated All-SEC corner Chevis Jackson with a nasty stiff arm. As good as he was, Wells played the whole year with a gimpy ankle and played with a broken wrist/hand for much of the last part of the season. If he can stay healthy, look for Beanie to put up huge numbers.

The Rest of the Best:
4. Sam Bradford (So.) – QB, Oklahoma
5. Knowshon Moreno (So.) – RB, Georgia
6. Percy Harvin (Jr.) – WR, Florida
7. Chase Daniel (Sr.) – QB, Missouri
8. Michael Crabtree (So.) – WR, Texas Tech
9. C.J. Spiller (Jr.) – RB, Clemson
10. Todd Reesing (Jr.) – QB, Kansas

R.I.P. Heath Benedict

Heath Benedict, a consensus 3rd or 4th round draft pick out of Newberry College (South Carolina) died last night. He was an Army All-American coming out of high school and was at Thuggassee before transferring to Newberry. He attended the combine and certainly had a future in the NFL. This is a very sad story. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Heath's family. One thing though: how do you die of natural causes when you are 24 years old?

Some Fun Facts for the Day

I wonder what Charlie Weis' record is against teams that finished the season ranked in the top 25 during his tenure at Notre Dame! Let's find out.

And the verdict is... 1-9. Charlie Weis has beaten a grand total of 1 ranked team during his expensive stay at Notre Dame. The Domers sure are getting their money's worth. Who was that lone ranked team? The 2006 Nittany Lions led by the old shit Joe Paterno. The almighty Lions finished 2006 ranked 25th. Fortunately for Weis, Ole Joe was having flashbacks from the Civil War and Anthony Morelli was playing like his standard shit-stain self that game. Through 3 years and roughly 12 million dollars since Prince Fatass was hired at Notre Dame, Notre Dame has a 22-15 record, an 0-2 bowl record, a loss to Navy, a loss to Army, and a marquee win over the #25 team in the country. Good work Chuck. 

IrishGlory88: Internet Douchebag

Meet IrishGlory88: Rivals.com poster extraordinaire. This self-proclaimed "RIVALS POSTING LEGEND" lives in a basement in  Homewood, Illinois. He is married with 3 step-children and he loves his job. Why? "It is a great job where he is able to spend many hours on Rivals throughout the day." Wanna see his personal website? IrishGlory88's personal website complete with message boards. As you can see, he loves to refer to himself in 3rd person. The most peculiar nuance of IrishGlory88's internet persona is his tendency to create multiple accounts and talk to himself. Proof? Here. Schizophrenia? Me thinks so. This tool of the internet lists USC and Notre Dame as his favorite football teams. He also calls Indiana, Notre Dame, Duke, and Purdue his favorite basketball teams. What a douchebag. There are plenty of examples of IG88's faggotry (including some interesting AIM conversations), but it would take forever to list them all. Does anyone know a social service worker? Someone needs to take his kids away before his internet fails and all hell breaks loose.